Second Sunday in Lent
March 1, 2026
John 3:1-17

As hard as I try, I’ve found that there are very few things that I can actually control in life. I can’t control what other people think about me. I can’t control that driver in front of me that doesn’t know how to turn left off Broadway. I can’t control the termites who have chewed away at that ceiling up there. I can’t control the stock market. I can’t control the social and political issues of the day. I can’t control the escalating conflict in the Middle East.

And as I peel back the layers of my life, I realize that often, I can’t even control myself. For me, this is the most haunting part of my spiritual life. I can’t always control the negative thoughts I have about myself. I can’t always control my own self-doubts and self-criticism. I know how much I have to be grateful for – and yet, I can’t always control the fear and worry that manages to lurk, deep in the recesses of my heart. As I stand on the cusp of another birthday, another year older, I am coming to realize that in life, there is more out of my control, that within my control.

I think that’s why I resonate so much with Nicodemus. Nicodemus is a leader of the Jews who comes to Jesus by night. He is steeped in the Jewish law, the code of ethics and cleanliness. By following these rules, by adhering to these customs, Nicodemus must think, that he is in control of his life.

Jesus says to Nicodemus, “Very truly, I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God without being born from above.” Just real quick – in the original language, that phrase is ambiguous. It can be “born from above.” Or, it can be “born again.” Clearly, that’s where the idea of being a “born again” Christian comes from. 

So what really troubles Nicodemus, what really challenges him, is how Jesus says that he is not in control of his own life. Again, Jesus uses the example of being born to tell Nicodemus that control of one’s life is an illusion.

Naturally, Nicodemus scoffs at this. “How can anyone be born after having grown old? Can one enter a second time into the mother’s womb and be born?” But see, Nicodemus still isn’t getting it. But, come to think of it, we had no control over the first time we were born. Think of that – the absolute most important event in your life, the start of it – happened without any input from you at all. And that, I believe, is the same thing with being born from above, being born again.

It’s not anything that you decide; God decides it. You cannot force God to give you new life in Christ. You cannot make yourself be born again. Nicodemus is right –  you cannot enter your mother’s womb a second time. You also cannot force God to do anything for you. And in fact, the harder you try to make God do something for you, the more and more we’ll lose control.

At this point, I want to be vulnerable and open to all of you. As a priest, finding a job in the Episcopal Church is tough, very, very tough. Before coming here, I faced more rejection, more hurt, more misunderstanding, more dreams dashed than I care to recall. I thought that I had control over my ministry, my future. But I didn’t, and I don’t. And because of that, I tasted bitterness time and time again. Part of what I have learned over the years, especially in ministry, is to trust in the Spirit of the Living God.

Now, I’m not looking for a pity party. I’m not looking for sympathy or some weird reverse psychology “aren’t we glad I’m here.” No. I simply want to share my witness, my testimony. That the words of Jesus are true. In my life, in my life with Jesus, I’ve been much happier, more fulfilled, less angsty when I let go and simply allow the Spirit of God to do whatever the Spirit of God wants to do in my life. That’s when I know, that I have been born from above, born again.

It’s right here that Jesus says what is actually my favorite verse in the entire Bible. It’s not John 3:16, that is also in here. My favorite verse, in the whole Bible, is John chapter 3 verse 8. “The wind blows where it chooses.” The language here is so rich – that word for “wind” is the same as the word for “Spirit.” The Spirit blows where it chooses. I love this verse so much because this is the lesson that I have had to learn and relearn so many times; it’s the lesson that has given me so much life because it’s helped let go of the control in my life. The Spirit blows where it chooses. I am not in control.

The application for you, for all of us, is obvious. You are not in control. And you can either hammer against that, trying to get more and more control. But I tell you, from my own bitter personal experience, that will only lead to more heartache, more hurt, more bitterness. Or, you can let the Spirit blows where it chooses. You did not choose your own birth, and still you received life. God will give you new life, just don’t force it.

Now, back to Nicodemus. Here, at the beginning of the Gospel of John, he comes to Jesus by night. Which is also a sign of how much he wants to control the whole thing. Nicodemus does not want to be seen. Since Jesus is causing quite a ruckus in Jerusalem, he doesn’t want his friends, his colleagues, the Pharisees to know that he’s going to talk with Jesus. He wants to control how other people perceive him. But, clearly this conversation with Jesus changes something in his heart. Nicodemus shows up again a few chapters later in the story. At that point, some of the leaders in Jerusalem are trying to get Jesus arrested. But Nicodemus, maybe he’s learned to give up some of that control, defends Jesus.

Nicodemus shows up one more time – at the very end of the story. After Jesus is crucified, Nicodemus helps to bury Jesus in the tomb. Think of it. At first Nicodemus scoffs at Jesus, then he stands up for Jesus, then he buries Jesus. The Spirit is blowing where it chooses, and it has blown right through the life of Nicodemus. We have watched him become born again.

What I mean is this. Faith, discipleship, a life with Jesus – it’s a process. Being born again, being born from above does not necessarily happen in an instant – for Nicodemus, it took years. The same could happen for you, and that is perfectly okay. Coming to faith, knowing this life with Jesus, being born from above, it may take a long time. If that’s you, I would say just let go and let the Spirit blow where it chooses. Don’t force it. Don’t control. Let go and simply open yourself to God in prayer. It’s as if the this whole gospel invites us to consider ourselves as Nicodemus. Maybe at first we come to Jesus with questions, with skepticism. But eventually, our heart softens until, at the end, we are born anew.

During this season of Lent, with our focus on prayer, this is all about opening our hearts, letting go of our control. And if it feels as if the world is out of control, that’s because it is. It was never in our control in the first place, and it won’t ever be. And no matter what happens, either at home or abroad, I must trust, that this world belongs to God, and to God alone. So if we have no control, what can we do? We can pray. And instead of giving our hearts to worry and angst, we can simply let go. And give thanks that God does in fact love you, that God loves the whole world, and that, even if we don’t see it, or know it, and though we cannot control it, we are being born again to the Kingdom of God.